Love is "hands on" - not delegated. (pic)

Understanding that led to friendship between my sons.

 A friend invited my son Billy, 7,  to a birthday party at Dave and Busters - an amusement center.

 Besides food and drink, all the kids got a $25 card to use at the games there.

At the end of the celebration, Billy collected a small bucket full of tickets.

He redeemed them for 2 water pistols, instead of getting a bigger prize for himself.

When he got home, he gave one of the guns to Bob, 11, his older brother.

At first they were enjoying a friendly game then things got out of hand.  Bob overpowered Billy in the shoot out, cornered him and emptied the magazine.  It turned ugly.

Billy ended up crying miserably.  He went to his dad and told him how deeply grieved he was that Bob used his very gift to torture him mercilessly.

The wise old father called Bob over and said words that would make the two brothers, the best of friends.  "You must understand Bob", the father started, "that Billy owned nothing in this world all his life.  The tickets that he won at Dave and Busters were the only things that he truly owns.  And rather than getting himself a nice toy, he thought of you and the fun times that you two would spend playing together.  That is why he got two water pistols.  He wanted to enjoy your company.  What hurt his feelings was that you went beyond playing and tortured him with it - specially when he was cornered and unable to shoot back or run.  It was neither fun nor friendly anymore.  And I guess he felt sad that you did that to him despite his gift.

Bob understood how Billy looked up to him and enjoyed his company.  From then on, he was no longer mean to Billy.

Bl. Teresa of Calcutta preaches without words. (video)

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta is one of the best ambassadors of Christianity.  Her life and deeds are convincing and compelling.  She is truly a missionary of charity.  As St. Francis of Assisi would say, "Preach the Gospel;  use words if necessary."  If she worked in a Muslim land, would she survive long enough to witness to the God of love?"

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/11/bl-teresa-of-calcutta-mother-of-poor.html

The sweetness of pain

St. Gianna Molla

I don't know any culture that relishes pain in any way, shape or form other than a subculture of S&M. But that is ill. Normal folks avoid pain and relieves it ASAP; just watch the TV ads and tally how many are pills for tummy aches or head aches or muscles aches are being promoted. I would suspect that the epidemic of obesity and sexual addictions is tied to this. People are not as gluttonous or promiscuous as much they are hurting. And food becomes an acceptable source of comfort - hence the term "comfort foods". It is certainly more virtuous and socially acceptable than booze, dope or sexual abuse.

There is another way to deal to accept pain that is not in a form of sexual deviance. It can be seen as part of the strain and rigor to achieve physical stamina. "Feel the pain" the trainers say like it's a good thing. Well it is because it is the price to pay for muscle tone and a sexier bod. In social circles, pain can be used as initiation. Remember boot camp or a training program. Pain for the sake of pain gains a Stoic value - a virtue of the ancient Greco-Roman culture of conquest and supremacy where people don't flinch even when their arm is burned because they're just as tough as nails. That same thinking goes into gang, frat or military initiations.

But if your not out there earning your wings, shield or stripes, then how does pain make sense - specially in these days of unemployment or underemployment, of infidelities and ingratitude, of illness and old age. Christian spirituality looks at it as a source of purification and penance. Penance is like punishment for sins and purification is like cleaning from imperfections. One needs to be perfect to be united with God. So, these hard times can be ways and means to prepare for heaven. Otherwise, one will have to do it in Purgatory where one has really no choice but to wait it out until it over.

This is what St. John of the Cross talks about in his classic "The Dark Night of the Soul". Here there are no consolations or good feelings from loving God. It is just raw and rancid, bitter and vile as shown in the lives of almost all the saints when they were at their lowest point. Some had happy endings like St. John Bosco who found the Pinardi shed to become the oratory or playground for his homeless youth. Others lingered in this yucky state for the rest of their lives but remaining faithful to God all the time e.g. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta - quite possibly.

Most if not everyone goes through crappy times. It feels like God has left us such that we cry with the Lord hanging on the cross, "My God, my God why have you left me?" The difference is in the love. Saints feel like hell but they accept the pain with love as an expiation for their sins and for the sins of others. Those who are not yet saints resent the pain saying, "Why me? What have I done to deserve this?"  Then they go to the 5 stages as mapped by Kubler-Ross - if they don't get stuck.

In the old school of virtues there are the advanced forms of humility namely: effacement and abnegation. Effacement means erasing your face. You don't care about the credit. You are not offended when others forget or ignore you. You have no face i.e. you no longer live, but Jesus lives in you. (Galatians 2:20) Then there is the humility of abnegation or deprecation where you see yourself for who you really are - a sinner, an imperfect selfish man, someone who spent his life for his own pleasure, greed, envy, avarice, power, praise, honors and the like. Someone who is not as loving as the incarnate Son of God. When one sees this and acknowledges it, then one accepts the bad things as just punishments and does so with love.

That is why saints are always cheerful. They feel joy in the midst of tribulations and sufferings because of this mindset. This is why the Lord taught that when we fast, we should not look glum. The same is when we're going through excruciating times. We need to embrace those times as moments of growth in holiness. Growth in holiness doesn't mean we're flying a little higher in the next level but it means loving truly i.e. loving even when it hurts. For the measure of love is love without measure and the limit of love is love without limits.  Only when we have learned to love that way are we ready to join the family of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in their perfect communion of love.

So, feel and relish the pain as the best act of love that you can give. If you need a model, just glance at the nearest crucifix - if you don't carry one around.

Bl. Teresa of Culcatta

Recover files just like your first love - a parable

 If you internal hard disk goes bad and you had to replace it, know that there is still a way to salvage the files in there.  You can get this device that connect to the hard disk and then connect it to your PC using a USB port.  This device will have its own power source, so it kind of turns your internal hard into an external one.  Chances are you'll read some wierd file names that you want to save somewhere.  Then you COPY those files and save it with the extension that you think is appropriate like jpeg if those were pictures.  Do NOT RENAME those files so that you always go back to them.  Here is the name of that reader.  I'm sure their site will provide more instructions on how to recover your files.  SATA/IDE to USB 2.0 Adapter gives you the flexibilty of connecting almost any type of drive to your computer via USB.  The SATA and IDE drives are all supported and can be easily hot-swapped to your system.  The included external power adapter will allow you to power your drives outside your system giving you the ability to quickly add or swap between drives without opening your case.  My good news is that the files can still be recovered.  Hopefully, you did not decide to reformat it when you wanted to recover and reinstall the system files.  Reformatting wipes everything clean so if you took that path, then I hope you kissed your files goodbye because they're gone for good.

Now for the parable.  The internal hard drive is your life with memories, decisions, ideals and inspirations.  Sometimes, these get buried and blurred in the humdrum and grind of daily living.  Recovering them is like what the Lord exhorts us to do in Revelation 2:4-5 "But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you, and will remove your lampstand out of its place-unless you repent." 

It was said that after ordination, the priest has a godly scent.  After a few years, he starts to have an angelic scent.  Then, he get the fragrance of saints.  Still later, he smells like a man.  Until, he sinks into the dung heap of worldly compromise and sin;  that's when he reeks.

The same with marriage.  "ASAWA" is the Filipino word for spouse.  That's how the couple treats and feels about each other at the start.  Later, it becomes "SAWA" meaning "tired of it" because the relationship has lost its excitement.  Down the road, it turns into "AWA" or pity - the only thing holding the marriage together.  Finally, it is "WA" or nothing is enjoyed or shared together.

That is why the Lord calls us to recover our first love.  Do you remember your fervor during your perpetual profession, priestly ordination or episcopal consecration. Or if you're married, do you remember what made you love your spouse - that moment when you decided that this person is the one.  Try it otherwise you're looking at a slippery slope and the Lord or your spouse doesn't want someone tired, cynical, jaded or lukewarm.

More reflections about restoring one's first love.

http://www.godswill-wellness.com/first-love.html
http://northwesternubf.org/2009/03/restore-your-first-love/

Music Video: Doing something visible for the Invisible God. (can't out do Him in giving)

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/09/give-god-buck-get-100-back-harden-not.html

Video: The natural godliness in a child

This is most likely what the Lord means when He teaches that we must become like little children.
If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/08/video-children-show-how-to-live-life.html

The Christian and other people's private lives.- when addiction hits the family

A relative got addicted to cocaine and got booted out of work.  When we saw him, he told us he'd go to rehab clinic for a week and then get back his work.  It didn't go that way and in the following months, he exhausted his savings and sold off his house, car, boat and anything that can be sold.  We visited him when we he'd let us and talked him out of it.  He said he knew his predicament and that he can stop anytime.  But he didn't until he hit rock bottom.  At that point his girlfriend left him and another friend dropped him off in our place.  We didn't give him money, only food and shelter.  A week later, he decided to hike the Appalachian Trail as some lady challenged him.  That he did for a few months, starting in the Summer and ending as the snow flurries came.  He kicked the habit and started to look for work.  He has been employed for a couple of years now and I haven't heard of any relapse.

The flip side of that coin are the people who were behind him.  In the states, we were his closest relatives but it is not like we can just come and tell him to stop using.  It is not like he comes to us all teared up and begging for our help.  Rather, he was quite arrogant and even manipulative.  So, we felt helpless.  But we just can't leave him to OD or become a criminal to feed his addiction.  Some people have that frame of mind i.e. that we're not responsible for his actions, decisions and life in general.  And maybe that is true.  But we cannot just let it happen.  I've contacted relatives from the old country as I too am beginning to need support as I have my 4 young children to nurture and a wife to partner with.  So, whenever I take time off for the addict, it is time taken away from my wife and kids.  But then, the relatives in the old country are pushing and expecting that I take this person under my wing and straighten him out.  They forgot that this guy is an adult who is well aware of his rights and is as cocky as hell.

At the that point, something had to give.  It was my career.  In short, I got demoted.  But before so, I had to go through a Performance Improvement Program followed by a Progressive Discipline Program.  My manager was a divorced Liberal feminist who gave me hell during our sessions - probably because I am her opposite in all things.  I remember Googling for the words of Lead Kindly Light and praying it often.


"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom, Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home, Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene; one step enough for me."


Despite that, I broke down that I had to go to our Employee Assistance Program for counseling.  The counselor was wondering why I am getting upset about this relative's problems and pretty much advised me that I should not feel responsible for his decisions.

But my faith tells me otherwise, so I kept asking prayers from my family and friends.  Our family prayers always included him.  So, to conclude I believe that it is through the power of prayers that this person was healed.

The silent killer of spiritual growth.

Why are we not saints yet?  Despite the many times that we've resolved to strive for perfection and turn away from selfishness, we seem to be stuck in a rut.  What is holding us back, this silent killer of spiritual growth?  


The classical spiritual writers call the culprit the predominant passion;  behavioral scientists call them pre-neurotic tendencies.  Bishop Eugene James Cuskelly in his book "A Heart to Know Thee" lists them below.  What we can do is pick out the one that suits us and check ourselves.  It's like a car that's veering to the side that needs to be pulled back constantly.


There a special examination of conscience just for this called the particular examen.  The bottom line, what is holding us from the love of Christ is the love of self.  And so I added the video "So long self"

Pride of SENSUALITY:  an inner cleverly concealed urge to pleasure.  When this tendency colors thought and action, the affections are inclined to run away with reason; pleasure of the senses attracts so strongly that the observance even of simple duties is neglected.  There is a strong romantic tone in the working of the imagination.  There may even be a pronounced tendency to affectionate gestures and facial expression, sometimes carrying over into soft and flattering speech;  it reaches a danger point when it develops into sensual friendship. 


Pride of TIMIDITY:  sometimes walks in the garb of humility.  As G.K. Chesterton said, “We are too proud to be prominent.”  Its worst effect is the vice of human respect.  Essentially self-centered, it broods in silence and lacks the power to confide in anyone.  It has too great a regard for the opinion of others, and a fearfulness of what others will think of possible failure.  It sometimes makes people omit the good they should do, or not avoid the evil they should avoid, only because of what others may think of them.  At times it makes one critical of others, branding them as “show-offs,” or making one say, “I could do much better,”  “I would never make that stupid blunder.”  It lacks the courage of a frontal attack. 


Pride of SENSITIVITY:  the world’s injured ones.  This pride causes them to detect insult and injury where they are never intended.  This tendency shows itself in what is properly called touchiness.  The person possessing it is generally kindly disposed toward all, but his temperature drops when his emotional nature is rebuffed.  Somewhat sentimental, the sensitive person cannot understand harder heads;  he may give room to jealousy when attention is paid to others rather than himself.  Easily wounded at the lack of response to his attentions, he has the tantrums of a child who seeks attention and does not find it.  Unstable, he is given to fits and starts in his enthusiasms. 


Pride of COMPLACENCY:  an exaggerated notion of one’s own excellence.  Ignoring the fact that God is the Author of all good in them, these people excuse their own failings; others are the cause of their shortcomings!  Day-dreamers, they conjure up triumphs in the world of their own imaginings, neglecting the job on hand.  Often they are boastful, and this is a way of concealing their own ignorance.  They show off by witty sayings and loquacity, playing the clown only to have the eyes of all focused upon them; then preen themselves on their prowess in sport, singing … anything. 


Pride of AUTHORITY:  a tendency to bossiness, the ambitious desire always to beat down the opposition in order to acquiesce in one’s own will and way.  Two of its chief manifestations are anger and stubbornness.  It has the character of bludgeoning others into the ways it has traced and will brook no delay in having its commands obeyed.  Those who possess this trait in marked degree are generally contemptuous of the opinions of others and do not hesitate to would their sensibilities.  Their audacity is not bravery but rashness to attain their ends, come what may.   Leadership, in itself a good thing, for them means domination.  Their zeal is generally zeal without knowledge and is imprudent.


Music video:  So long self.

Source:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaMQ7PUfpU or click here


Lyrics:
Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand

Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say

So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, Goodbye, don't cry
So Long Self

Stop right there because I know what your thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end

And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Can't you see

[Bridge]
Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away

Blog: Snowstorm stories from the burbs of DC

A snowstorm struck the burbs of DC. So, my weekend was spent clearing the walkways. It is being neighborly and also avoiding fines and lawsuits. I took the incremental approach instead of doing it at the end. My spot gets more snow because the trucks keep pushing it on the sidewalk, so a 2-feet precipitation easily turned into 5 ft. I had to pace myself since I am not fit; one can get a heart attack from the exertion. So, I work an hour and then rest. It was messy and tiresome getting in and out of the snow and putting on layers of clothing. My wife fixed some cocoa which ran out quickly. Then she made soup and that went by fast. Finally, she made chocolate and rice mix that also became a favorite. My youngest son, 7, grades her cooking and gives her 10s. I wonder what would happen if he gives her a 2 or 1.

Last night as I was clearing the sidewalk, a Latino came up and asked to borrow my snow blower. I asked,”What’s up?” but we can’t communicate. He said something about friends freezing and I responded, “Call 911.” Then he called someone who explained how a group of them were stuck and needed to go to a better place. So I went along; he dragged my tool for a block. Around the turn, I saw a group working on an SUV that was spinning its wheels. They were 5 young Latinos. A couple of neighbors turned out with shovels. I let the guy use my blower as I myself was out of breath. We ended up digging an entire block by sections. The SUV would run then get stuck. Then we’d dig again until he reached the main road. He told me he had no “dinero” (that much I understand) for using my tool. I said it’s OK. He expressed his thanks. I asked if he can drop me off because it was still a long walk for me with the snow blower. Apparently he did not understand. But an Anglo neighbor volunteered her son, Matt, to help me. He was huge and tall so he pushed and pulled that blower until we reached home.

Although it did not turn up to be a poor family on the verge of freezing, if you went out there with that intent, then God will bless you as though you actually saved the holy family. That’s the great thing of doing things for God.

On the side, I took some anti-freeze, Stolich Vodka, and tiny fish to keep me warm. I understand now that in certain occasions drinking is not vicious. So, it is really hard to condemn others; if one wants to judge then one should walk a mile in their boots first.

The archdiocese send a message over the radio that people were excused from Sunday Mass if the roads were bad.  And the schoolds did the same for tomorrow.  Hopefully, I can work from home.

Video: The Fragrant Spirit of Life (Children in Uganda)

In the face of this suffering, all our religious differences fade into insignificance.
Love is all that matters. And it compels us to reach out to Sam and Ester.
And when do, we will discover that we touched Jesus who will touch us back.
(GUARANTEED)



source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v7ZQUzr0yo or click here

Video description:  One of two scenes....watch the follow up entitled "Sam and Esther Follow Up Story." This is a scene from the film "The Fragrant Spirit of Life," a San Damiano Foundation production released in 2008. We found Sam, Esther, and Jane outside the small village of Serere in eastern Uganda. They are being cared for through the amazing work of the nonprofit organization Village2Village (www.village2villageproject.org). Visit us at WWW.SANDAMIANOFOUNDATION.ORG

The good Samaritan and 9/11

Christians have 2 great commandments. The second is to love their neighbor. When asked to define "neighbor", the Lord Jesus told the story of how a Samaritan helped the man who belonged to the religion that hated him.

I know what the Koran states about Christians. But true Christians do not hate back not even after 9/11. Our leader was also tortured, but he loved back instead. We have a chance to do the same by supporting the Iranians' present struggle and cross out the circle of hate.

Why I was at a candle light vigil for Iranians

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7HpSuyaOwY

I was there last night because, I am convinced that if everyone in the world would stand for the oppressed then no power can resist that pressure. (If you care to find me, I am at the end at 2:01 - 2:04.)

Today it is the Iranians, yesterday - the Rwandans, Albanians in Kosovo, people of Sierra Leone, decades back the Salvadorans, the Jews, and the list goes on. Who will it be tomorrow?

In the video, the clothes are mostly black for those mourning the loss of their loved ones or green for the political party that opposes the current regime. So, there's just a couple of hundred folks tops. Why is there little show of solidarity for the Iranian people from others? There was more turnout for Michael Jackson.

I think people need to go beyond the stances of their governments and see their brothers and sisters even in the so-called rogue states. And it is being done by groups like Amnesty International and Doctors Without Borders. What bothers me is that I have heard nothing from my Church about this. People are dying and being tortured abroad and there's not a word about how to address that situation. From a dogmatic standpoint, these Iranians even if they're Muslims and secularists are related to, if not part of the People of God. Review the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church "Lumen Gentium" and "Gaudium et Spes".

We'll soon be hearing less and less from Iran because, the regime is tightening up the information leakage. It does not mean that things are stabilizing. Even here, there is caution if not fear. I took pictures and was approached by someone to have his picture deleted because, he was going back to Iran sometime later.

At the end, people are formed by those who love them and those who refuse to love them. The Iranians need us now.

Protecting God's Children

I've decided to teach CCD again.  To do that I have to have a criminal record check by the FBI, setup an account in virtus.org & attend a presentation on protecting God's children.  It is reassuring as I plan to send my children into Catholic schools later.

I am sensitive to this because I was almost sexually abused by a priest when I was a boy. Back then, I was in a club of aspirants (to the priesthood).  We had interviews with the director.  When my turn came, I was stopped by a couple of members;  one claimed to be molested sexually by the priest.  So, I missed the interview & dropped out of the club.

It was the 70s & the old-school approach to virtues is passe.  Purity & chastity was put into perspective like "the sins of the flesh are not as bad as the sins of the spirit".  And theologically speaking, "Charity is the most important virtue."  Because of that many church leaders let their guard down, slid into sins of the flesh & victimized God's children.

Hopefully, the appreciation for chastity, purity and modesty will grow.  And the best way is to not lose one's purity at all.  St. John Bosco spoke about a dream where his boys were going up a mountain - some on foot, others on carriages. Those on wheels never fell into impurity.  And so it is easier for them to avoid temptations. Those hiking already “fell off the horse” and lost their innocence. They have to struggle to stay pure by avoiding the occassion of sin & fighting the urge. Then there is a group rushing downhill. Those have lost their purity & continue to fall into graver sins.  So one needs to avoid malicious companions & not look at sexy shows & websites.  One needs to keep oneself busy & avoid idleness.  One needs to have a devotion to the Blessed Mother Mary & read about the saints & how they protected their chastity.