Pope warns against Marrying Muslims (video)

If video fails, click here or go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2011/07/pope-warns-against-marrying-muslims.html

Couragious and confrontative german newsreport on the muslim abuse of women.
My comment:  It is like marrying a devil worshiper. 

Courageous - about being a family man of God (video)

If video fails, click here or go to  http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2011/05/courageous-about-being-family-man-of.html

Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. When tragedy strikes home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Protecting the streets is second nature. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That's courageous.  (In Theaters September 30)

For more information visit:  http://www.courageousthemovie.com

Video: Why men delay marriage

Msgr. Pope points out a reason why men delay marriage these days.  Watch to find out.  However,  there may be pathological cases where the men are scared because their mother dominated their dad or was unfaithful.  If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/08/video-why-men-delay-marriage.html

Porn, S&M, KamaSutra, erogenous zones & more in a Christian Marriage

At a men's retreat, someone brought out a point that will clarify a misconception about chastity in married life. This guy thought that just because he's married then he can do a lot of sexual stuff as long as he does not commit adultery and that there is no contraception involved.

First of all, my insights are general concepts and principles. For spiritual guidance, one needs a director - preferably ordained. What I'll state will not be enough but, it is a start.

Let's step back and establish some rules about judging immoral actions. There are 3 components: the action itself, the intention and the circumstances. The first 2 are self-explanatory. Some actions are evil by itself e.g. abortion or indifferent e.g. drinking water. Intention is why the action was done. And circumstances mean knowledge and freedom. Knowing that something is bad and still doing it is worse than being ignorant. And doing something deliberately makes it worse than being forced into it.

Let’s apply these to the case of watching porn to prepare for intercourse. The act by itself is immoral because, it dehumanizes women and supports that industry. The circumstances point to defective knowledge. He didn't know but can he be excused? No, it is clearly taught in the Catechism. Let’s assume that he is not addicted, so the act is deliberate. Finally, the intention - to start the marital act is good. But as you can see, determining culpability or sin or the gravity thereof is not that cut and dried.  (That is why the Lord ordered us not to condemn.  And that is why he forgave the Jews; because, they didn't know.)

But before going down to specific acts, we need to step back even farther to frame a moral life. There are 2 schools of thought: the navigation system model and the boundaries.

The first is like having a TomTom or Jiminy Cricket in your head saying, "Turn right or go ahead." So every step involves discerning God’s will. I think that is reserved for big decisions e.g. picking a career but not with what to do at bed.

The borders approach consist of having defined bounds and not crossing those lines. Anything within is fair. One can be spontaneous without analyzing every step. This is where the guy came from and he would have been right had he not missed one of the bounds.

That said, is it alright to learn about sexual pleasure e.g. erogenous zones? Absolutely, but not with porn; because, the end does not justify the means. Or a good result cannot be achieved using immoral ways.

What about foreplay? Definitely. In fact women need remote preparation. So, you can plant some thoughts in the morning then follow up with a phone call at noon. It is not sensitive to just jump her when you feel like it. She has to be ready too and it takes her more time to be in the mood.

How about playfulness and games? That’s foreplay too. It shows appreciation to your mate as a person instead of a bodily cavity.

How about props and positions? I'd think the rules to consider would be consent and dignity. Lubricants, scents, feathers, beads, ice-cubes, tapioca pudding and the entire Kama sutra is fair game. I have issues with SM and bondage - even if someone's wife likes it because, it degrades the other. Those issues may need to be referred to a mental professional.

And there are Church teachings about this – in general. See references below. I distinctly remember a passage stating that it is not enough for the man to be satisfied; he must ensure that the wife is also "fulfilled". At first, I felt a bit scandalized that clerics would talk about these but, with the new approach to sexuality, I even got to this point of writing details. I certainly hope I did not shock anyone. My goal was to make clear what is sinful so, God won’t be offended. And also, to state that while sex is not the end all and be all of married life, it does not have to be the missionary position all the time.

References:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=theology+of+the+body+john+paul+ii&aq=5
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccatheduc/documents/rc_con_ccatheduc_doc_19831101_sexual-education_en.html

Video: St. Gianna Beretta Molla (October 4, 1922 -- April 28, 1962) patron Saint of the pro-life movement, of mothers, of pregnancy

St. Gianna is one of the Church's great contemporary saints. A wife, mother and physician herself, she sacrificed her life for her unborn daughter, dying instead of having an abortion.

Source http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xivG5t69wc0 or click here
Related videos:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oY4Ku21IZY

Video: Fiddler on the roof - Do you love me ? (with subtitles & lyrics)

When my wife lost her wedding ring, this question came to mind.  I recalled the song and got my answer there.

Source click here or type http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y9F5St4j0

(Tevye)
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I what?

(Tevye)
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion

(Tevye)
"Golde I'm asking you a question..."

Do you love me?

(Golde)
You're a fool

(Tevye)
"I know..."

But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

(Tevye)
Golde, The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared

(Golde)
I was shy

(Tevye)
I was nervous

(Golde)
So was I

(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?

(Golde)
I'm your wife

(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought him, starved with him
Twenty-five years my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?

(Tevye)
Then you love me?

(Golde)
I suppose I do

(Tevye)
And I suppose I love you too

(Both)
It change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know

Annulments like pancakes

It's 2 a.m. and I felt the need to get up and publish this. Perhaps, someone needs to read it.

First of all, I pray that this will never happen to me and I will do everything in my power together with the grace of God to make my marriage persevere in holiness and love. The reason I'm on this topic is perhaps because of what I saw last week. The hotel where we stayed while attending a professional conference was just across a "gentleman's club". I know that patronizing that is evil but others consider it a harmless pastime. (I did not go, BTW.) So, I say purity or chastity is not just for virgins or celibates. Married folks have to be pure not only in actions, but also in thoughts and words. Furthermore, the consequences of impurity can lead to infidelity then divorce. Since the Catholic Church does not accept or recognize divorce, people seek annulments to break out of their marriage vows.

But an annulment is not a divorce. It is stating that there was no marriage to begin with and that can be caused by either a lack of freedom as when someone was forced by shotgun or a lack of knowledge e.g. ignorance that marriage was meant for procreation. Bottom line, it is not a Catholic divorce because there is no divorce in the Catholic Church. If the couple was freely married and knew what it entailed, then that is an indissolvable union. Jesus taught, "What God has united, let no man separate." And if there are problems, then the grace of God is sufficient for the couple to surmount it and remain faithful to their promises to God. Problems are developmental events that can help the couple grow in their commitment to God and each other. I've heard how others have betrayed their spouses. And while this may be horrendous and excruciatingly painful, it is not a justification to break one's vows. Two wrongs don't make a right.

What I don't get is how easily the Church dissolves these bonds. St. Thomas More was beheaded for not yielding to condone the king's divorce; yet, the Church grants annulments like pancakes. I find it hard to believe that all those marriages were defective to begin with. Is the Church compromising the holiness of this sacrament and succumbing to expediency?