The Silent Debate Between the Pope and the Rabbi

Source:  http://psalm46-11.blogspot.com/
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. 
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. 
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. 
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only One God common to both our beliefs.
Then I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.
'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.
He bested me at every move, and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd won.
'I haven't a clue' the Rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.
Then he told me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'
'And then what?' asked a woman.
'Who knows?' said the Rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'




----- Waiver. -------------------
When I posted this, I did not intend to condone the injustices done by Christians to Jews. It just shows that the Church is also human - capable of sin, errors and mistakes.

Smoking while praying Vespers. Jesuit vs Franciscan

A Jesuit and a Franciscan were praying Verspers on their own. The Jesuit was smoking while doing so. At the end, the Franciscan asked, "Did your superior allow you to do that? My didn't" The Jesuit responded, "How did you ask for permission?" The friar said, "Can I smoke while I pray?" Then the superior said, "Of course not, prayer is a holy activity." "That's your mistake right there" said the Jesuit. "You should have said, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"

HUMOR from CHURCH BULLETINS HUMOR: CHURCH BULLETINS

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in
church services. 


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 
'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' 
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. 
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the
back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

16 Facebook types

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy: You May Be A Muslim

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim

You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes..
You may be a Muslim

You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim

You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim

You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim

from http://www.siotw.org/modules/news_english/item.php?itemid=737

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

Your cousin is president of the United States. You may be a Muslim

You find this offensive or racist and don't forward it. You may be a Muslim

source: http://www.siotw.org/modules/news_english/item.php?itemid=737

Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards

That is why stress is reversed by desserts.

Live-in Vows

Magic in the USA - a satire

If video fails click here or go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2011/04/americana-2008-2012-its-camelot-again.html

Once upon a time there was an enchanted place called Imagination Land, where everything was just as wonderful as you could make believe it was.  A metaphor by Andrew Klavan.

Official Lenten Food & Drink. You'd Want Lent to Lengthen.

From Catholic Resource Center

Lenten Pretzels by FR. WILLIAM SAUNDERS
The pretzel indeed has its origins as an official food of Lent. However, much of the information available is based on tradition that has been handed down through the ages. Nevertheless, the Vatican library actually has a manuscript illustrating one of the earliest pictures and descriptions of the pretzel (Manuscript Code no. 3867)....According to pretzel maker Snyder’s of Hanover, a young monk in the early 600s in Italy was preparing a special Lenten bread of water, flour and salt. To remind his brother monks that Lent was a time of prayer, he rolled the bread dough in strips and then shaped each strip in the form of crossed arms, mimicking the then popular prayer position of folding one’s arms over each other on the chest. The bread was then baked as a soft bread, just like the big soft pretzels one can find today....
 
Apparently, this simple Lenten food became very popular. Pretzels were enjoyed by all people. They became a symbol of good luck, long life and prosperity. Interestingly, they were also a common food given to the poor and hungry. Not only were pretzels easy to give to someone in need, but also they were both a substantial food to satisfy the hunger and a spiritual reminder of God knowing a person’s needs and answering our prayers....

Another interesting story involving pretzels arises in the late 1500s, when the Ottoman Moslem Turks were besieging the city of Vienna, Austria. The Turks could not break the city’s defenses, so they began to tunnel below ground. The monks in the basement of the monastery were baking pretzels and heard the sound of digging. They alerted the guard and saved the city.

From Catholic Herald

Following the ancient tradition of Bavarian monks who brewed stronger beer during the Lenten fast in order to subsist on an almost entirely liquid diet...bockbier, which was originally brewed by the Paulaner monks in Munich.  The beer is a strong, dark, malty lager and is known as liquid bread. Traditionally, it was brewed by the monks for the periods of fasting in Lent and Advent.

Campaign slogans 2012 - suggestions for Obama

Source  DougRoss

 "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign"

• "Your long national nightmare is not over"

• "It's Mourning Again in America"

• "Keep America Strong through Surrender & High Taxes"

• "Vote for Barack: Satan compels you"

• "Building a bridge to September 10th"

• "I'm with Worf!"

• "Vote Obama. It’s Easier Than Thinking"

• "Don't Ask What He's Done: Ask What He Says He's Done!"

• "Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed Again?"

• "Read My Lips: No New Tax Cuts"

• "Why Work If You Can Just Vote Democrat Instead?"

• "Change you can be fooled by -- again!"

• "Your friends at the SEIU say: Vote Obama and No One Gets Hurt"

• "Keep Racial Tensions Alive!"

• "Help Wipe Out Capitalism in Our Time"

• "I can't believe it's not Socialism!"

Obama's "Let me be clear" statements

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2011/01/obamas-let-me-be-clear-statements.html

Prefacing a statement with, "Let me be clear." does not make it any clearer. That should be decided by the audience. However, dishonest or intellectually challenged speakers pull that trick to put the burden of understanding to the audience instead of taking the burden of clarifying to himself. BS can bring a person up but doesn't guarantee to keep him there.

Awkward Situation Room 1 from RightChange on Vimeo.

Best defense against killers

from Mike Lester

To outlaw guns is to give bandits an edge, don't you think?  It's not like they'll comply and use sling shots instead.  So, lives would have been spared if someone packed heat as the cops can't be everywhere.

Boehner puts Pelosi in place during gavel ceremony. Wow

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2011/01/gop-will-disappoint-sometimes-shouldnt.html

Liturgical Abuse: Congregation Mesmerized; Petitions Rome for Regulations

From BadVestments

Did he lose a bet or a dare?

Perhaps this weed psychadelic theme is for a parish in San Francisco. 

If this guy was presiding in that cult of peace, he might have been sodomized then beaten to a pulp for pulling a stunt like this.

I mean, "Just what is his fashion statement here?  I am the primordial goo from whence life began?
Perhaps the cleaners switched the packages from the Aloha Mu-mu club.

Liturgical Technology - The Chasuble 1.0

From BadVestments


(1) Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the only chasuble with its own IP address.
(2) You don't put this on this garment, you hack into it.
(3) Most vestments get cleaned.  This one gets a new hard drive.
(4) Old concept: liturgical colors.  New concept: PC versus Mac.
(5) For the time being, don't run Windows 7 while wearing this or the liturgy will constantly freeze up and you'll have to reboot and start over from the beginning.  Microsoft's working on the patch.
(6) This chasuble also serves as a wi/fi hotspot.
(7) If you want to order one, the name of this product is iGarbage.

"Say the black, do the red" - in teleprompter

The liturgical books have the words to be prayed in black  (no racial overtones intended) and the accompanying actions in red - called rubrics.  Click on the mug to go to Fr. Z' site for these and other items that remind us that "Reforming the liturgy will reform the world."

I suspect the teleprompter works the same way.  So, this is what happens when it is missing.

Working with Jewish group to build the human community

 I know this is Jewish but the Pope taught that we can work with them in building the human community. It is with the Muslims that any substantive dialogue is impossible - we cannot compromise with evil. See how different God's chosen people are. Shalom Israel.  If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/12/working-with-jewish-group-to-build.html

Description:  This AJWS public service announcement, created by uber-producer/director/writer Judd Apatow, shows a funnier, edgier side of global justice and features some big-name stars: Ben Stiller, Sarah Silverman, Jerry Seinfeld, John Mayer, Susan Sarandon, Sir Patrick Stewart, Andy Samberg, Ken Jeong, Tracy Morgan, Helen Hunt, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gilbert Gottfried, Brian Williams and Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog. 

Funny Church signs

Hilarious, witty, sensible and thought provoking too.

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/12/funny-church-signs.html

Great gift idea for a man: The woman language translator

The secret of a successful relationship is communication.  But if a woman speaks Venusian and man Martian, then understanding becomes a challenge.  But not anymore, with this gadget.  If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/12/great-gift-idea-for-man-woman-language.html

DADT Repealed in USAF. Mossad accepting straight transfers.

When soldiers come out of the closet, it's time to transfer to an allied force e.g. the Mossad.  (The French Foreign Legion has koranimals, so it is not safe;  friendly fire - isn't..)

If video fails, go to http://divine-ripples.blogspot.com/2010/12/dadt-repealed-in-usaf-mossad-accepting.html


H/T LarryD