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Summary:
Link to Mass Readings and Divine Office: click here or go to
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The Divine Office or Liturgy of the Hours sanctifies the day with praying the Psalms at various times.  Monks and nuns have been doing this for centuries.  Lay people too are invited to join the Church is continually worship God in prayer.

National Day of Prayer - May 5, 2011

Winning the struggle against impurity

Every year, my wife takes the kids away for 2 weeks to her sister’s camp. And every year, I face the same demon named porn who tempts me to masturbation.  I met "this guy" back in high-school and I almost went blind. But when I entered the seminary in college, I was able to control it – even when I came home for break.  So, I recalled my regimen then and followed it. And, it has been 10 days and I am still the king of my castle. I am sharing this because I’ve seen pleas from those who are being oppressed by porn addiction and I hope it will help.

Supernatural ways:
First, there’s grace. I attend the 7 am Mass and receive Communion - daily. During the weekend, I go to Confession. When I drive, I pray the Rosary and listen to inspirational tapes. The last set was from Fr. Groeshel.  Because without spiritual nourishment, how can one fight a spiritual disease?

Natural ways:
By that I mean, things under my control. It’s hard to pray oneself out of a temptation; it’s easier to stay away from it. It’s like, it is more difficult to think oneself into a new way of acting than to act oneself into a new way of thinking.

Work:
Rather than surf the web during the weekend and pray, I got up and shopped at IKEA. An easel for $14 and a bookcase for $30 will keep my hands occupied. St. John Bosco taught that idleness is the workshop of the devil. So, I stay busy. I didn’t have to make up work because the past rainy days gave me a lot. The basement got flooded, there’s a pile of unfinished laundry and the grass grew. It was also opportune to explode roach foggers so, I have to empty cabinets and move stuff out of the way and back.

Temperance:
Back in the seminary, we didn’t have much to eat and we can’t eat anytime. In the same way, if you deprive the body of food, then it will crave for food first before all other carnal pleasures. Besides, I need to go on a diet anyway. So, I ate when I am hungry and limited my portions. I got cherries from Sam’s club because, those filled you up fast. I’m down to 186 from 200 lbs.

Relate:
Impure actions can also be a defense mechanism for an unmet need. If one is lonely, one compensates by stroking oneself – figuratively and literally. So, I’ve set up meetings after work. I visited my brothers. I’ve had Home Depot come over to fix the windows that they installed. I dropped off donations to a thrift shop. I conference the FIOS tech support to get my internet access back. I dropped off and picked up my laundry. I still have to get my bumpers painted at Maaco; they’re having a $149 special.

Have fun:
Again, if you’re sad, there’s a tendency to fill that pain. So I have fun. Fun is what you did that made you miss meals as a kid. I remember riding my trolley far away and feeling the wind as I rolled downhill. It’s just like driving, so I enjoyed the ride as drove to the Asian market where I bought those plum preserves that I liked so much as a boy. I also had lunch at the Filipino restaurant to have those dishes that took the whole morning to prepare and watch some shows while being surrounded by people. If you’re having a good time, the devil can’t really distract you. That is why the teenager saint, St. Dominic Savio, told the newbies in the youth center, “Here we make holiness consist in being cheerful always.”

Bottom line, if you struggle then God will help you succeed. Before all this started last week, I came across that video about a runner who tore a muscle but wanted to finish the race. His dad came down the bleachers and took him by the arm to run the course with him. I posted it below. It may have been just a coincidence. Then again, it may be God’s way to assuring anyone who struggles that He will be there to help him limp across the finish line.

The Christian and other people's private lives.- when addiction hits the family

A relative got addicted to cocaine and got booted out of work.  When we saw him, he told us he'd go to rehab clinic for a week and then get back his work.  It didn't go that way and in the following months, he exhausted his savings and sold off his house, car, boat and anything that can be sold.  We visited him when we he'd let us and talked him out of it.  He said he knew his predicament and that he can stop anytime.  But he didn't until he hit rock bottom.  At that point his girlfriend left him and another friend dropped him off in our place.  We didn't give him money, only food and shelter.  A week later, he decided to hike the Appalachian Trail as some lady challenged him.  That he did for a few months, starting in the Summer and ending as the snow flurries came.  He kicked the habit and started to look for work.  He has been employed for a couple of years now and I haven't heard of any relapse.

The flip side of that coin are the people who were behind him.  In the states, we were his closest relatives but it is not like we can just come and tell him to stop using.  It is not like he comes to us all teared up and begging for our help.  Rather, he was quite arrogant and even manipulative.  So, we felt helpless.  But we just can't leave him to OD or become a criminal to feed his addiction.  Some people have that frame of mind i.e. that we're not responsible for his actions, decisions and life in general.  And maybe that is true.  But we cannot just let it happen.  I've contacted relatives from the old country as I too am beginning to need support as I have my 4 young children to nurture and a wife to partner with.  So, whenever I take time off for the addict, it is time taken away from my wife and kids.  But then, the relatives in the old country are pushing and expecting that I take this person under my wing and straighten him out.  They forgot that this guy is an adult who is well aware of his rights and is as cocky as hell.

At the that point, something had to give.  It was my career.  In short, I got demoted.  But before so, I had to go through a Performance Improvement Program followed by a Progressive Discipline Program.  My manager was a divorced Liberal feminist who gave me hell during our sessions - probably because I am her opposite in all things.  I remember Googling for the words of Lead Kindly Light and praying it often.


"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom, Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home, Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene; one step enough for me."


Despite that, I broke down that I had to go to our Employee Assistance Program for counseling.  The counselor was wondering why I am getting upset about this relative's problems and pretty much advised me that I should not feel responsible for his decisions.

But my faith tells me otherwise, so I kept asking prayers from my family and friends.  Our family prayers always included him.  So, to conclude I believe that it is through the power of prayers that this person was healed.

Turning iron into gold.

The devil’s advocate insisted, “When did Don Bosco pray?” St. John Bosco founded religious orders, built churches, established schools, wrote books and fulfilled his priestly duties that there seems to be no time for personal prayer. The defender of his cause replied, “When did Don Bosco not pray?”

The point is that St. John Bosco prayed with every activity. While he focused on the task at hand, he did it as an offering to God. While St. Benedict’s motto was “Work and prayer”, with St. John Bosco it became “Work is prayer.”

One way to do this is to have a pure intention e.g. fulfilling God’s will, working for God’s glory, or saving souls. So, when blogging one thinks not of getting hits but of uplifting the blogosphere.  In so doing, one does not put porn-like images to attract readers.

Another way to transform work is to live in “God’s presence”. While God is always there, we may forget that reality. To constantly remind oneself, one can say a prayer of aspiration like “Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine”.

Having a crucifix, holy pictures or Bible passages around also helps. I remember cursing up a storm when my project manager stopped by and made small talk about the icons in my cubicle. If the icons by themselves don’t help, my co-workers will make sure that they do – I guess.

This practice of continued prayer is living the liturgy of life. It is like offering Mass all day long.  It enables us to convert our mundane activities into spiritual treasure, like iron into gold.

Loitering in the restrooms of the interior castle

St. Therese of Avila is one of the doctors of the Catholic Church because of her teachings about the mystical life. In her classic, Interior Castle, describes spiritual growth as moving from mansion to mansion to eventually reach the courts of the God.

Each mansion signifies a situation:
1st: In the state of grace but surrounded by sin. Starting a program to grow in perfection.
2nd: Embarking in religious practices e.g. prayer to advance.
3rd: Living an exemplary life of love governed by reason (so none of that sentimental or lustful desire).
4th: Starting to surrender personal plans and programs to God’s activities
5th: Something like a betrothal where there is “incipient” union in which the soul prepares itself to receive gifts from God.
6th: Something like being “lovers” where the soul is torn between enjoying favors from God and afflictions from outside.
7th: A clarity in prayer culminating in a spiritual marriage with God.

I got lost in the fifth room and will probably lollygag around the restrooms there if I do not do more with my prayer life. Since I am living in the real world of politics, taxes, groceries and timesheets, I doubt if I really can have that serious of a prayer life with the incipient union – whatever that is. I seriously doubt if that is demanded from my state of life. Nonetheless, this is still everyman’s pilgrimage – whether one strides quickly or moseys along. The very language of the upper mansions is so romantic, syrupy and sweet that it is hard to relate to but is something to look forward to. I guess experience will make things intuitive. Lord knows how ineffable these realities are so, St. Therese must have had a heck of time trying to come up with a narrative or description.

One can always read the source and commentaries. I guess it’s a start – like reading about the warmth and light produced by fire. But it is best to actually see and touch the fire at the same time.

Bottom line, there’s a great frontier to explore out there - space for spiritual growth. St. Theresa provides a map or method of going through this morass of the unknown. And it is by prayer.

One enters the first mansion by mental prayer or meditation where one withdraws from without and concentrates on the devout observance of the passion of Christ and penitence.

The second level is the “prayer of quiet” where the human “will” is lost in that of God by virtue of a charismatic, supernatural state given of God, while the other faculties, such as memory, reason, and imagination, are still susceptible to distraction. Despite the interruptions, there is more stillness than the first mansion.

The third level is called "devotion of union" and consists of being is ecstasy. That’s different from taking that street drug because the high comes from the Most High. Reason is absorbed in God even if the memory and imagination wanders around a bit. The intellect and will kind of rests peacefully and blissfully in a conscious rapture of the love of God. I guess it is like being in a trance having your heart and breathing stop – well almost as you behold something so awesome that you just get caught in the moment and your jaw drops while drooling uncontrollably. (St. Therese didn’t put it that way but I don’t get her flowery language much.)

I have to cut and paste the fourth levels and beyond just because. If you get it, I salute you. Here goes. “The fourth is the "devotion of ecstasy or rapture," a passive state, in which the consciousness of being in the body disappears. Sense activity ceases; memory and imagination are also absorbed in God or intoxicated. Body and spirit are in the throes of a sweet, happy pain, alternating between a fearful fiery glow, a complete impotence and unconsciousness, and a spell of strangulation, intermitted sometimes by such an ecstatic flight that the body is literally lifted into space. This after half an hour is followed by a reactionary relaxation of a few hours in a swoon-like weakness, attended by a negation of all the faculties in the union with God. From this the subject awakens in tears; it is the climax of mystical experience, productive of the trance. (Indeed, she was said to have been observed levitating during Mass on more than one occasion.)”

There it is and it is what it is. Once you or I get there, then it will make sense. For now, we’ll clumsily make our way through the castle. When things start getting weird - in nice way then it will be time to get a spiritual director for coaching. Sometimes the devil gets in the act to mess with our heads. It’s worth the journey and the journey is just as fun.  Or we may choose to loiter around the restrooms of the interior castle and get nowhere until time is over.

References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Castillo_Interior for overview
http://www.catholictreasury.info/books/interior_castle/index.php Interior Castle by St Teresa of Jesus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_of_Ávila#Writings Writings of St. Teresa

Music video: Some of God's Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oEC1WbbWqs&feature=player_embedded


God answers every prayer.  Sometimes the answer is, "No".  See why.

My Journey: Tax problems.

I was having tax problems with my 2008 return that has caused anxiety. This afternoon, I read Mt 7:7-12 that was about a child asking his father for food and not being denied. So, I paused and prayed feeling assured by that timely passage. I didn’t bargain because I said, “If I knew that there was something that God wanted from me, then I would give it – whether I needed something or not.” A few minutes after the prayer, an email arrived from the Tax Appeals Division saying that my case has been closed.

Here are the details.  Back in April, I filed my taxes electronically. A few months later, I got a letter charging me for the full amount of my tax liabilities plus interests and penalties. When I examined the statement, it showed that the payroll deductions were not factored in so, something must have gone wrong during the transmission. I resubmitted a printed copy of the returns with my W2s. A couple of months later, I got a collection letter with even more interest charges and penalties. So I sent in an appeal. After a few weeks I mustered the courage to follow up by phone only to be asked to call back after another week. After a week, I called back and explained the situation all over. My case has gone into two directions – one with the appeals board and the other with the amendment division. And I was talking with a third division whose number was in the correspondence. I was asked to call back in two weeks. That is the back drop of today’s event. And another thing though, last week a man flew his airplane into an I.R.S. building in Texas.

Blog: Making work meaningful and elevating it to the greatest of human activities

Chatting with a former pupil, I learned that he was living a life of quiet desperation.  He lost his family and is feeling like a robot who mechanically does nothing of consequence day after day.

To help, I searched the web and  tried to recall what I've learned about work but all those were about how things should be.  But most workers have little or no control over that.  So I thought of my own reasons and ways.

First I think of why I work.  A picture of my 4 little kids and wife can make anything bearable.

Then I think how it can get worse.  I look at what others do and things start to look better.  See http://blog.compassion.com/the-dignity-of-work/

Finally and most importantly, I make my work a prayer, an act of worship and adoration by offering it to God.  I pray a morning offering to start my day and short prayers during breaks like, "Lord I offer this to you."  And I know that I am like a monk who is constantly praying and in the process, doing the greatest thing that a man can do.

Women who had abortions expose it's evil and lies

During a march for life, I came across a group of women holding up black signs that read “I regret my abortion.” They looked at us gratefully, as though to say, “Thanks for caring.” I saw the sadness in their eyes and in my heart I grieved for their loss and pain. This morning, it dawned to me that there can be no better advocate to stop abortions than those who have been victimized by it.

Here are the links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4zRz4IJK3A

http://www.youtube.com/silentnomorecampaign

at http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/

Despite this, feminists still push for abortion. Jane Brennan explains, “Feminists groups do not want to see the truth of how abortion hurts women. ...To acknowledge the women who’ve suffered from abortion, feminists would have to admit that abortion isn’t good for women. Where would that leave them? Planned Parenthood would have to shut down. Groups like NOW and NARAL would no longer have a purpose and would cease to exist. Laws would have to be changed. Politicians would have to be reeducated. The feminists groups would lose all their control and political power and that scares them. It is that fear that keeps them entrenched in their mistaken beliefs. It is that fear that drives them to crush anyone who tries to persuade them differently. "

Read more at: http://www.catholic.org/politics/story.php?id=32600&page=2

I understand the need to be part of a cause, of something larger than oneself. But why choose the side that hurts women and kills children when one can save the unborn and their mothers?

A Latino construction worker

A priest friend, Fr. Jimmy Hernandez, told me about a Latino construction worker who would use his lunch break to visit a nearby church. It took him 30 minutes to get there, so all that he can do is knell and pray, "Lord, this is Jose. I just dropped by to say hello." Then he'd hurry back to the site.
One day he fell from a scaffolding and was hospitalized. When his friends visited him, he was laughing. He said the Lord stopped by saying, "Jose, this is the Lord. I just dropped by to say hello."